What’s Really Keeping You Awake at Night (It’s Not Insomnia)

You don’t need another morning routine. You need a nervous system that feels safe enough to rest.

If you’re exhausted but wired, lying awake at 1:00 a.m. despite taking magnesium, switching off screens, and checking every “sleep hygiene” box—you’re not alone.

And you’re not broken.

Most sleep advice today misses the mark because it focuses on routines instead of regulation.

You don’t have a sleep disorder.
You have a body that’s never off duty.

The Hidden Pattern Behind Sleep Struggles: Emotional Backlog

What many call “insomnia” is actually a form of bedtime procrastination—a nervous system in overflow that finally exhales when the world goes quiet.

There’s a term for this: revenge bedtime procrastination. It originated in East Asian research and reflects a pattern where people delay sleep to reclaim agency, freedom, or pleasure—especially after high-demand, low-autonomy days.

Instead of rest, we reach for control.
Instead of sleep, we choose stimulation.
Because we haven’t felt safe enough to truly slow down.

For high-performing women—especially those navigating expat life, perfectionism, or high-stress leadership roles—this pattern isn’t a failure. It’s a response.

Waking at 1–3 a.m.? Here’s What Your Body Is Trying to Do

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the 1–3 a.m. window is governed by the liver—an organ responsible not just for physical detox, but for processing repressed emotions like anger, frustration, and resentment.

If you’re consistently waking in these hours, it’s not random. It’s your body trying to clear the backlog.

This can be triggered by:

• Rich or fatty foods late at night

• Unprocessed emotional charge from the day

• Overextension, people-pleasing, or unmet needs

• Lack of physical integration or grounding

From a nervous system lens, this is when stored sympathetic charge—fight or flight energy—starts to thaw. It’s not insomnia. It’s your body attempting to repair.

Why Early Bedtime Is a Feminist and Somatic Rebellion

Our culture glorifies early wake-ups. But what if the most radical act is to go to bed early—not because you “earned it,” but because you are inherently worthy of rest?

Between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. is when your body enters its deepest healing state:

• Hormone recalibration

• Fascia repair

• Emotional integration

• Nervous system reset

Especially for women in perimenopause, parenting, or caregiving roles, this window is sacred.

And it’s often missed.

Somatic Rituals to Reclaim Rest

Here’s what I guide my clients to practice—not as hacks, but as healing:

1. Wind-Down by 9 p.m.
   Dim the lights, lower sensory input, let your evening exhale you.

2. Shift Dinner to Before 7 p.m.
   Support your liver, gallbladder, and hormone systems by letting digestion complete before sleep.

3. Bedtime Body Check-In
   Lie flat. One hand on chest, one on belly. Breathe. Say: “I’m safe to soften now.”

4. If You Wake at 2 a.m.
   Press the liver meridian point (between big toe and second toe), sip warm water, and repeat: “There’s nothing to fix right now.”

5. Replace Scrolling with Ritual
   Herbal tea, fascia rolling, lymphatic brushing, or candlelit journaling—ritual reconnects you to your body.

Want more? Listen to the full episode here